


Stakes in Idle Hands

by nonky



Category: Being Human (US/Canada)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 23:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17990288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Summary: Fresh air was supposed to help everything, even the pervasive urge to give up and die quickly.Spoilers: To 1x11 of Being Human US.





	Stakes in Idle Hands

When he could pull himself together, Aidan went for a walk. He nodded politely at Sally's frowning sympathy, and Josh's worry. They both offered to go with him for company, and he didn't miss the werewolf's hand resting uneasily on a stake jammed into his coat pocket. It was touching they wanted to be his bodyguards – Sally might even be good at it since she couldn't be hurt – but Aidan needed to be alone.

He put on his sunglasses and leather jacket, feeling the echo of that night in the way the sleeves felt like small hands pleading with him for mercy. He left it open out of habit; nothing but a live feeding made him very warm, and he and Rebecca had both liked the option of getting close without the numbing leather in the way.

The park was quiet because the day was cold and cloudy. He knew he looked a little weird out there by himself. Aidan pulled his shoulders tight and put his head down, breathing forcefully so the fake life puffed out in clouds. He had led Rebecca around this same path dozens of times, guiding her close but not too close to the humans flitting happily on the grass. Getting her acclimated, he had said firmly, would make the cravings easier to deal with.

Aidan took shelter in a covered walkway, watching the rain dispassionately. Rebecca had a close call there. He had grabbed her hands hard to keep her from snatching a jogger to the ground, a man who had unluckily been passing them all alone in a below-street crosswalk. He had turned the motion into what passed for a rather rough embrace, and the man had looked warily at Aidan – unaware the danger was the small woman who looked to be manhandled.

When Aidan had kissed her forehead gently, he was acting out a role the jogger would understand. Even the meekest people seemed to accept love could be nearly violent at moments, so he gathered her body to his chest and wrapped both arms around her. The man couldn't have known the moment of resistance was her straining for his blood, before Rebecca whispered 'Aidan,' against his neck and gave in beautifully.

He was Bishop's and Bishop had made her. Aidan had been more terrified of her as a fragile, mortal woman doing her best to be lovely and charming. He knew all the weak points inside her monster's shell because they were the same as his own.

In no universe that existed could Aidan have explained how that moment felt; the layers of hate and empathy for her mixing with the overwhelming self-loathing that he took everything from her once and was still doing the same. Anything that felt good, that gave comfort, was wrong for a vampire. Anything that made her life worth half-living like he was trying to do would be a violation of their fragile bond. Rebecca had sighed so hard he could feel her body jolt, and her arms had come up underneath his jacket in acceptance.

She had tried, so hard. She had tried. And when she couldn't anymore, instead of taunting him with it, she had run away to the darkness. Rebecca had saved him. She had gone against all of Bishop's programming and the very real stakes of her new world, and saved Aidan by distancing herself. She had thought she was saving Bernie. She had thought she was creating some new kind of future for the three of them.

It wouldn't have lasted, their bastardized version of a little family. Bernie would have realized what he was and been out of control. Rebecca would have lost her child, he would have lost another son, and Bishop would have appeared as naturally as a rat digging into the walls of a house. It would all have ended with lonely contemplation of the immense tragedy.

Rebecca had spent most of her time as a vampire misled or in denial. He was sorry he'd added to her confusion, even more sorry he wasn't at a place where he could dissect what it was to be one of their kind. She had been different, from sheer will and hard effort. She had been better at facing their lot in a few months than Aidan ever expected he'd achieve. Their last moments were honest and real, and Rebecca had been clear in what she was asking. She'd wanted to die and she'd wanted him to live. Her gaze had burned the promises from him.

He could fall back, and Bishop might forgive everything with a tribute bloody enough to impress. His sire was sentimental at times. He could follow through on the sharp urge to die with Rebecca and Bernie – to die with all of them as he should have done a long time ago. But Aidan had been forged by a strong maker, and his will to survive was pushing to the forefront of his mind. He wanted to live long enough to stop Bishop. After that he could rethink his options. Rebecca had asked only two things from him, and he'd killed her despite the jagged defeat of that moment. The second task might even be a pleasure.

Aidan pressed his back hard on the concrete wall, almost hard enough to lose the imagined sensation of Rebecca's arm snug under his jacket while they walked. The stake in his pocket scraped comfortingly along his ribs, Rebecca's remains waiting peacefully for company.


End file.
